you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize