super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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