my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
did you just send me my own nude
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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