but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
