Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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