i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
