Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
