she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Don't EVER smell your tampon
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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