Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I need water and some morals
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize