Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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