dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
