we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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