okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Randomize