I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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