where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
