Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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