Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
