I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
