i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
