Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
