is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
