Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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