chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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