He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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