so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
