Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
