You really coming over, don't trick.
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
