He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
No subtext here. People are naked.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
