actually, I'm a sock model
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
