These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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