Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
