I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
