fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
