It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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