Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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