Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
