Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
