So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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