He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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