Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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