we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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