She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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