The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
