marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
