I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
