My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
