I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
