BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
