Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
