He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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