So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
