I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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