Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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