I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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