i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
