She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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