Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
