last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
