It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
