She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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