Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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